Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
