I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
