i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
