Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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