I look better un-naked...
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Randomize
