I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize