you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
