Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
