She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
