her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I think my moral compass just broke
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
