5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
