U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
