Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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