I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I enjoy the company of your penis
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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