Say something about gay babies.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
