Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
