if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
