You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize