Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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