I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize