i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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