never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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