Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
