i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
