go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
