Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
