I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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