You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
my poor anus
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
