the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
