My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
