The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
