i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
