Duck Duck Cougar?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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