Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
