your thong is hanging out like whoa
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Is it because I queefed?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Randomize
