No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
