Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
