she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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