Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
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