Don't you send me to vm
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
