Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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