i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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