dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Randomize
