She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Dick very happy bro
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
