please come you make the beer taste better
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Randomize
