it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Farmville is her only friend.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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