it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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