Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
