it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
