oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm sobbing to NWA
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
