I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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