just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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