Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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