and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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