Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
