Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
