If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
