im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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