Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Four minutes until I can fart!
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
