Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
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