Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
you guys were way drunker than both of me
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
